Mom Guilt & How to overcome it
Jumpsuit: Target | Shoes: ASOS | Bag: Louis Vuitton Speedy 35 | Earrings: Kendra Scott | Mama Necklace: Sierra Winter Jewelry | Evil Eye Necklace: Sierra Winter Jewelry | Sparkle Necklace: Kindred | Pearl Bracelet: Stella & Dot (old) | Crystal Bracelet: J.Crew (old)
So, if you’re here and are also a fellow mama, I am pumped to talk to you about how I deal #MomGuilt. It’s a everyday issue that is consuming, feels irrational, and can honestly just be hard to concur. I deal with it all the time. It’s a struggle for me to know how I need to be for my son, clients, myself, and especially my family and friends, lol. What are those? And if you’re one of friends IRL, know I love you. Think about you all the time, and one day we will hang out like we used too!
As a gal that spends her time bouncing between being home with her little one and working her business; finding the time for both is always a struggle. When I am working with a client or brand, I think about Bennett and how I could be with him. When I am with Bennett I think about how I need to work on projects, and goals, and ya know clean my house. Maybe?
I then start to think to myself about how I should probably stay home full-time, and just focus on being a mom. Especially now that we are adding another sweet soul to the family this summer. Like, HI, that’s gonna be a big transition, and maybe instead of stressing about how you’re going to do it all, you just do family? But, then I’ll work with a client and the joy and excitement and fulfillment is just as good as my first one! And my confidence is boosted and I’m pumped to keep it going. And I talk to my “full-time” working mom friends and they feel the same way. They want to be able to spend more time with their babies too! It’s tough that we make these amazing blessings and then have to figure out who we can trust enough to leave them to work on our own craft. That constant tug of war on your heart is rough.
I was talking with one of my “stay-at-home” mom friends about how we never “wanted” to stay home. (It feels VERY uncomfortable to share that). And trying to figure out our balance, of working and caring for our babies is a journey we never knew we were going to do. And I honestly wouldn’t trade it for anything! It’s bananas most days, but I do love getting to do both. I just grew up watched my mom work her tail off, my whole life, and I had the best baby sitter that was more like a grandmother, and felt all the love and support from everyone. I loved watching my mom go out and crush her career and create such an incredible life for us! I had just assumed I would find a full -time career like hers and find care that was just as special, for my children. We are so lucky to have a huge network of people in KC that love on Bennett and help us all the time! With that we have worked to create strong relationships and I’m so thankful! I also thank God all the time for where we are and always ask Him to show us how we will get it done, and He always shows up!
Now, let’s get to the how! How do we move past “Mom Guilt” and here’s what I have done to move past the feelings and focus on the end game. First, I love Bennett, he loves me, and that is a definite. But, after like 8 months old, I knew he needed more! And wasn’t my little tiny baby to take around town.
Get a babysitter. Or a daycare, or a Mother’s Day Out program you love. I knew I couldn’t grow myself with Bennett physically attached to my hip 24/7.
Get pampered. Make that nail appointment, go get your hair done, or a spray tan, facial, whatever makes you feel calm and collected and connected to that person that you are when no one else is around. I don’t see her often, but when I do, I embrace her and hold tight that she’s always with me!
Read a book or listen to one. Or a podcast or something uplifting to move you forward. Keep the sights high and positive on what you want. Hell, write down what you don’t like, and then create a list of what you do want to change. It’ll blow your mind.
Call your best friend. Yes, I know, sounds crazy in the age of all the texting. But, I know how good it feels when I get to share my concerns and frustrations with a good friend, when they validate what I’m dealing with and pump me up. And I do that for them! So find you some cheerleaders, you’ll have to be vulnerable (I’m terrible at it), but when you find them. It feels effortless.
Go get a cookie. Or a Coke, or whatever special treat you need to make you feel better. Yes, I might be an emotional eater, but this isn’t for everyday feelings. This special treat is to bring you out of a funk, or even a reason to get out of the house after one to many inside.
Do a GNO or GDO (Girls Day Out). YESS! This is my favorite! To go out for a long brunch with your favorite ladies, and have all the mimosas (or coffee) and just talk about all the things! Complain about home stuff, cleaning, laundry, time with the family, work, stress, whateverrrrr. Just get it out, and let people love on you!
And with that, you guyssssssss! With all of that, I have an event for you to go and get yourself pampered! YASSSS! The Kansas City Mom’s Blog put together the BLOOM EVENT for mamas that need sometime to themselves and recharge!! And right before Mother’s Day, I’m thinking this will be a gift to myself to celebrate! The event is all about letting yourself and your closest girlfriends; that are new mamas, expecting mamas, want to be expecting mamas and get pampered! There will be a delicious brunch (see #6 above), mocktails (for expecting and breastfeeding mamas) and strong coffee (because duh) along with some much needed pampering (see #2 above). Everyone will leave with a swag bag full of goodies every new mom needs. Plus, there will be raffles there too! The event is going to be help at The Everly Event space, and I was just there with KCFW and it’s so gorgeous!!
There will also be a keynote talk by the lovely Laura Probasco-Johnson and Leah Probasco-Burns, from New Strong on how to keep your mind and heart strong as you navigate your motherhood story. I can’t wait to hear from them!! As this is something I am so bad about.
Bloom is all about taking a morning off and getting away from the routine for a celebration that’s all about your motherhood journey! And I am so down with that!! Now, if you’re down you can grab your ticket here! And this a link to the Facebook Page too! Share it with your girlfriends and come and have the best time! I know I can’t wait to see you there! It will be such a blast!
“We were never meant to parent alone, we were meant to parent in a tribe.” – Brene Brown
And I couldn’t agree more! I couldn’t handle motherhood without my tribe of family and friends! I love getting to help my friends gain a new perspective on motherhood and what it takes to feel like ourselves again. So, I with that I will be giving away a pair of tickets to the event! WAHOOOO! Go check out my Instagram (@caitfore) post today of this outfit to enter! I hope you come out and take time away from everything to enjoy you, and get pampered at the Bloom event!